Monday, October 31, 2016

"The Shopper" the second in a Series by Paul McCarthy & Scott Forrest-Allen


(READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.)

“The Shopper”
by
Paul McCarthy & Scott C. Forrest-Allen

It’s that time of the year again, I thought to myself.
Christmas time…and I’m sick of hearing the same music over and over again
and again.  My mom starts playing Christmas music in October!  It’s driving me nuts: listening to the same songs, by the same people, in the morning on the way to school; back home after school. All because I don’t have a license.  And the worst song of all –
“It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” No, it isn’t! YUCK!
       
            Well, it’s the night before Christmas Eve, and today my mom told me she would drive me to

the mall tonight so I can go Christmas shopping with her.  My CD player broke yesterday (I think it

was that brat that my sister hangs around with; it wouldn’t be the first thing of mine that that little

demon broke).  

           I really hope I can get my hands on something to drown out that God-awful Christmas music

that I’m tormented with every year.  I hope the mall won’t be too crazy, I heard that an elderly woman

was taken to the hospital last year as a result of the Christmas Eve chaos. 

        “Peace on Earth, and good will toward men” my ass.  It’s the price to pay to spread the

“Christmas cheer” I suppose. I hope getting myself my new CD player will make me feel better.
“Stop it!” I yelled at Patty in the back seat.
“If you two don’t stop it…” my mother began. ” May, set a good example for your younger sister.”
Patty couldn’t get the stupid grin off her face. If she only knew what I was thinking…        
The mall was so much more crowded than I had expected; as if everyone had just looked at their calendars that morning and realized what day it was.
         
            “Now girls,” started my mother. Oh, how I hated it when she called me a “girl.”

            “Yes, mother dear,” I replied.

            “You watch your tone, young lady.” Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Patty smirking.

            “I need to do some errands. I’ll meet you both back here in one hour.”

            “But, mom…” I pleaded.

            “And make sure your cell phone is on – just in case,” continued my mother, ignoring me.

“Now, you girls have fun! One hour!”

            I checked my digital watch. It was 6:42PM. Okay. 8PM was close enough to one hour from then.

           And off she went into the sea of faceless strangers. It was as if a wave had just carried her in

its crest.

            “I have to go the baffroom,” announced Patty. Great. Her nagging was starting already.

            “Fine.” The sooner we go “the baffroom,” the sooner we can go shopping for my new CD player. 
That’s when we started our quest. Fighting our way upstream against the stream of rude and oblivious shoppers, we managed to make our way to the ladies’ room located in the center of the mall not too far from the food court.
All I wanted to do was to splash my face and wipe it with a paper towel. Damn those stupid paper towels! Might as well dry your face with sandpaper.
After drying my face, I went outside the bathroom door to wait for Patty. The sea of shoppers continued to swell, and I could feel myself gasping for air. I checked my watch. 7:14PM. Damn! Almost half an hour had already gone by, and we hadn’t even gone anywhere near the CD store! “Patty” I called out. Then I entered the ladies room.
“Patty! Hurry up! We have to get going!”
Silence.
Oh, where is she? I thought. Come on! Hurry up!
This is no time for her stupid pranks.
Taking a quick survey of the stalls, I found no feet anywhere.
My stomach dropped.
My insides turned ice-cold.
Something was wrong. I felt it right away.
“Patricia!” I demanded. “If this is your idea of a joke, I’m not laughing!”
Where is she?
“Come on! Come out! Patricia?”
Silence.
”Patricia!”
Silence.
“Patty? Come on, Patty! It’s me, May!”
One by one, I opened each of the stall doors.
One by one, each one was empty.
            “Patty!”

            “PATTY!!”

            She must have slipped by when I wasn’t paying attention. I should’ve stayed in the ladies’

room with her the whole time.
 
             Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Breathe. You’ll find her, I told myself.

            This is just one of her tricks again. Her stupid friend taught her too well. She’ll be just outside

the door. Yes. That’s it. Just outside the door.

              I ran to the door. “Patty! Patty!” I yelled.

             Patty was nowhere to be found. The sea of people turned into an ocean. My mouth went dry. 

I could feel my heartbeat. The sound of my heart beating drowned out whatever sounds the ocean of 

strangers were creating.

             Look around. 

            Slowly. 

            Make your way around. She’s here. She’s got to be here. Somewhere!

            I began to make my through the unforgiving crowd. All of those people were in their own

little worlds, and no one else mattered to them but themselves. I searched in every direction - the best

I could - mouth drying and heart beating.

            A wave of panic moved through me.

            The Security Desk. I need to go to the Security Desk. I need to report her missing. No. She’s   

not missing. She’s just not here. May, you dumb ass, that’s what “missing” means!! Don’t panic. 

             Please. Don’t panic. She’s here. She’s here somewhere.

            “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” sang the overhead speaker system.

            The hell it is! Of all songs…

            “With the kids jingle belling…” I heard as I managed my way through the endless waves of 

people.

             “Well, I never!” some woman spat in my direction.

              Well, maybe you should, Sweetheart!  I thought.

             “What a rude little girl!” added another.

             “It’s the most wonderful time…” repeated the singer.

             “Oh, shut up!” I yelled to the singer, as if he could hear me.

             “What did you say?” demanded a man facing me. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that, little 

girl!”

              I had no time for this!

              “And don’t you dare run away from me!”

             “There’ll be parties for hosting…”

              Arriving at the Security Desk, I felt dizzy.

             “Please, sir! You have to help me!” I gasped to the security guard who took notes as I 

explained my situation. He assured me that they would do everything they could to find my sister.

              The overhead singer chimed with glee: “There’ll be scary ghost stories…”  One of those 

ghost stores will be about Patty! May, stop thinking like that. May, get a hold of yourself.  I turned 

and faced the tides of faces heading in every direction.

              No one knew what I was going through.

              And no one cared.

              Mom! I knew I had to call mom and warn her. I reached for my cell phone but couldn’t find 

it anywhere. I must have dropped it in my search for Patty.

             Or someone stole it.

             “It’s the most wonderful time…of…the…year!” I could picture the singer’s smiling face 

surrounding by other smiling faces. Mine was not one of those smiling faces.

              I decided to go back to the bathroom to look.  Maybe she’s been there this whole time. 

              Please, oh, please, oh, please, oh please, oh please!

              I eventually made it back. “Patty! Are you here? It’s May! If you’ve been hiding, it’s all…”

             “May! Is that you?” It was Patty’s voice!

             “YES!” I exhaled.

             That was when the lights went out.

             “Patty! Patty! Where are you?”

             Silence.

             The darkness.

             It was so dark.

             And cold. I could feel the temperature drop. Had there been any light in the bathroom, I 

probably could’ve seen my breath.

              All I could hear was my heartbeat again. It pounded and echoed between my ears. I wanted 

to tell it to shut up so I could listen for my sister. Of all times for there to be a power outage. And 

where the hell were the emergency lights? And where was Security?

               I felt hands rest on either of my shoulders.

               I gasped in response. I wanted to ask if that were Patty, but my mouth was too dry to form 

any words. I felt my breath quicken. This was too tall for Patty. I wanted to ask who the hell they 

were and what did they do with my sister?
              
               I felt chills take over my body as I started to make out The Figure in front of me. Close. So 

close to me. With both of their hands on both of my shoulders. The gentleness of the hands frightened 

me.

               The Figure slowly guided me along the bathroom. That’s it, I told myself. It’s some nice 

person who found Patty. They are going to bring me to her. But where is she? I tried to gasp, but no

air came out.

               The hands reached up and started to caress my hair. They were gentle hands, but shivers 

went down my spine. I felt the rest of my body turn ice cold.

               Oh, why the hell can’t I say anything? Why is it so damn cold?

              “May! Is that you?” I heard Patty cry out to me. “Come and get me! I’m right here!”

               As I started to move, the hands returned to my shoulders and shoved me into the wall. I felt 

the cold, hard concrete slam against my back, and I screamed. One of the hands covered my mouth, 

squeezing my cheeks until they hurt. I winced and wanted to cry. Don’t cry. This is no time to cry. It’s 

time to be strong. It’s time to be strong for Patty. It’s time to strong for you.
            
                Did anyone hear me scream??

                That was when I heard it.

                I heard the sound of a click.

                Is it the sound of the heat and the lights coming back on?

                No.

                Nothing came back on.

               But, I did hear the sound of something. It sounded like the sound of a machine. Something 

whirring. What the hell was that?

                I winced again in pain from the hand on my cheeks as I heard…

               A chainsaw?

               No, not a chainsaw, but some sort of machine. Something with a high-pitched buzzing or 

whirring sound.

              OH, MY GOD! PATTY!

              I heard the sound of the machine. It sounded like it was cutting through something. I heard 

cracking. I heard something splitting. Were they cutting through the stalls?

              What were they cutting through?

I smelled something. Some foul, horrid smell.
            
              And cracking. I heard the sound of something cracking as it was being cut, no, severed, no, 

             MAY, SHUT UP!!

             OH, MY GOD! PATTY! PATTY! WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO 

YOU? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP US!!

             That’s when I heard the sound of a small child screaming.

             The sound of the screaming was high-pitched.

             The sound of the screaming blended with the sound of the machine.

             The sound of the screaming and the sound of the machine became one.

             The sound of the screaming and the sound of the machine echoed and pierced my ears like 

nothing I had ever heard before.

              I finally found the strength in me to yell.

              I finally found the strength in me to yell as long and as loud as I could, forcing the hand to

move away from my face.

              The sounds of the buzzing machine and the screaming child and my own screaming became one.


I found myself lying on the floor. I opened my eyes. The lights -- although I welcomed them -- were 

blinding.

I must have passed out.

For how long?

My heart was still racing, and my breathing was still crazy as I found myself lying on the bathroom 

floor staring at the cracks in the ceiling.

I was alone.

What the hell just happened? Who was here? Where’s Patty?

And where the hell IS everyone? No one heard me scream? No one heard that…that sound?

Afraid of what I might find, I still managed to quickly turn over onto my stomach to see what and 

who was there.

I took in a deep breath.

Nothing.

No one.

Not a trace of anything.

Not a trace of anyone.

What’s worse than someone attacking you in the darkness?

Not knowing where they are later when the lights come on.

I looked at my watch. It was almost midnight.

Where the hell IS my mother? Where IS everyone?

I slowly got up and left the restroom.

I looked out into the mall…

…only to find no one and nothing there.

I was sick to my stomach.

This will be over soon, and I’ll forget all about it.

What had been endless waves of nameless strangers was now a vast wasteland.

It was so dark.

And so cold.

With only the emergency lights on, I could see my breath in the darkness.

Remembering where I was, I decided to go to the food court, find a pay phone to call my mother. Or 

the police. Or anyone. Anyone who cared. Do they still have pay phones?

I felt and heard breathing and footsteps along my way to the food court. I decided to step as lightly as 

I could so “they” could not find me.

But, where did they go?

And what did they do with Patty?

Don’t cry, May. Don’t cry. There is a simple and logical explanation to all of this.

But what?

What?

And what did I do to deserve this? All I wanted to do was to treat myself to a new CD player!

And what did Patty do to deserve this? Where IS she?

I made my way to the food court and found the two pay phones near the taco stand. 

Tacos sounded so good right about then. Until I thought of the ground meat. The meat made me think

of the sound I heard earlier, and… the sound of someone grounding Patty’s flesh and bones…

STOP IT, MAY!!

STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!!

I picked up one of the phones, seeing my breath as I did. I dialed.

Nothing.

No dial tone.

No ringing.

No nothing.

Of course.

I tried the other phone.

Same thing.

I wanted to cry. Don’t cry, May. That won’t make things better. It’ll make things worse.

Go to the front of the mall, I told myself. Someone is bound to see me.

And someone is bound to see me along the way, I told myself.

I looked around…

…no one and nothing was there.

I decided to make a break for it. I thought if they catch me, then so be it. I’ll put up a fight and go 

down in history as one strong bitch.

Tiptoeing through the mall, I heard and felt my heartbeat throb between my ears again. Although I 

stepped as quietly as I could, I could hear every step echo and bounce off every wall around me.

In every shadow I saw someone, or something. Nope just another shadow. Damn! It’s dark in here.

And cold. So cold. I could see my breath every inch of the way, though I was careful not to breathe 

too much so as not to let them find me.


I eventually made it to the front door. Which was locked. Of course. How stupid. What if someone

were caught in here? How are they supposed to get out?

Oh, wait.

I’M STUCK HERE, AND I’M TRYING TO GET OUT!

That’s when I saw my mother coming to the door. After exhaling a sigh of relief, I noticed something 

else.

Patty was with her!

But how?

I was too exhausted to feel anger, relief, sadness, and guilt, but I felt all of them anyway.

She was with the security guard I had met earlier. He let her in. I flung myself into my mother’s arms.

“I’m sorry, mom!” I cried, my mouth and lips cracking from being so dry. “I’m so sorry I didn’t pay 

closer attention to Patty!”

“It’s alright, May” my mother began to soothe me. “Patty couldn’t find you in the mall of people, so 

she panicked and ran home.”

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” whimpered Patty.

I didn’t know whether to hug my little sister or hit her, so I did neither.

All of us appeared too tired to do anything.


It was a long and silent drive home. I sat in the front next to my mother who had a vacant stare.

Mom should be happy, so why the distant look? She is going to punish me. She is going to ground me

to not taking better care of my sister whom I didn’t want to come with me in the first place.

I’m alright, I told myself. Patty’s ok. And some day, we’ll laugh over all of this. That crazy night. It’ll 

be such a great story for us to tell everyone. Ha-ha. Look at me. I’m laughing already.

I wanted to say so much to my mother, but I couldn’t find any words. I had already explained to the 

security guard what happened. The sounds I heard. He promised me I must have been sleeping or 

dreaming or unconcious or it was my imagination. Why do adults always tell kids that it’s just our 

imagination?

Maybe he’s right. Maybe I fell down on the floor and dreamt that whole horrible thing.

Wow! We’re home already?


By the time I got to bed, it was close to 2:00 AM.  My mother kissed me goodnight and said that

everything would be alright. We’ll get up in the mornign and have a wonderful Holiday.

“Good night,” was all I could manage. She left the room.

I cried myself to sleep.

In spite of it all, or maybe because of it all, I began to drift off into sleep. 

Then, just as I closed my eyes…

A Voice breathed a melodious tune into my ear:

He knows…when you are sleeping…

I cringed, “I’m dreaming.  Nobody is in the room.”

He knows…when you’re awake…

It’s a dream…” I dragged the blankets over my mouth and nose, “why can’t I just open my eyes to 

prove it to myself that there’s no one here?  I really hate this dream!”

He knows…if you’ve been bad or good…

STOP!” I screamed.

All I could hear was the sound of my own pulsating breath.  A single tear flowed from my eye into

my mouth.  The taste was bitter.

I WAS dreaming…this WAS a dream!

I frantically looked around; tears blurred my vision but it was obvious…

…there was no one and nothing there.

May…get a grip -  there isn’t anyone here, you’re just imagining—

“May! Are you okay?” my parents shouted in unison from their room.

“I’m okay! Just a dream!”

That’s it.

It was all just a dream.

                     *          *          *          *          *

The next morning around 7:00 AM, I woke to bright sunshine beaming through the windows, making

the snow on the ground look brand new thought it snowed several days before.

An envelope on my nightstand caught my attention. I opened the envelope to find a beautifully

decorated card wishing me a Happy Holiday.

I realized it was one of those musical cards because as soon as I opened it, it sang

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…..”




Copyright 2007 Paul McCarthy & Scott C. Forrest-Allen

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Rock & Roll Trivia Question

What do the following songs share in common?

"The Twist" by Chubby Checker

"Maggie May" by Rod Stewart 

"It's My Party" by Leslie Gore

"Space Oddity" by David Bowie

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Rock and Roll Trivia Answer 7

All of the songs have sequels.

"Let's Twist Again" by Chubby Checker

"Dim All The Lights" by Donna Summer

"Judy's Turn To Cry" by Leslie Gore

"Major Tom" by Peter Schilling

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Happy Belated Birthday to Lindsey Buckingham and Law and Order!



Released on his birthday (10-3-1981) is Lindsey's first solo recording Law and Order.

This is a bold move on his part considering the commercial backlash of Fleetwood Mac's 1979 Tusk, but he approaches the project wisely and carefully. He is on his own doing his own thing here, but he plays down his trademark idiosyncrasies so as not to scare off the general public.

Peaking at #9 on Billboard's Singles Chart is "Trouble," easily the strongest track. His sexy, breathy vocals are complemented by his intricate guitar work and Mick Fleetwood's signature drumming.

He does a nice if not quirky job with his follow-up release "It Was I," written by Gary S. Paxton. "September Song" by Maxwell Anderson/Kurt Weill and "A Satisfied Mind," by Red Hayes/Jack Rhodes are the other two covers. Otherwise, Lindsey writes his own material and plays most of the instruments. "Satisfied" is a good choice as it sounds autobiographical. Lyrics like "Money can't buy back your youth when you're old/or a friend when you're lonely or a love that's grown cold" already seemed too relevant at the time of release.

Lindsey also shows his playful side with "I'll Tell You Now," which he never does, and "That's How We Do It in L.A." He rhymes "lonely" with "only" but makes it function here.

He introduces us to "Johnny Stew" about whom "everybody's talking about," and celebrates "Love From Here, Love From There" with enthusiasm.

"Shadow of the West" is a beautiful ballad featuring Christine McVie on background vocals.

Although the album stalled at #32 on Billboard's Album Chart, there is enough of his own brand and style to satisfy most of his fans. He and Fleetwood Mac would return with 1982's tepid Mirage, but for now he keeps everything in order.










Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Rock and Roll Trivia Question 6

Q. What is the accomplishment of the phrase "Hold On"?

Rock and Roll Trivia Answer 6

A. "Hold On" is the most charted song title in Billboard history, with 16.

Sunday, October 09, 2016

Rock and Roll Trivia Question 5

Q. What do the following bands have in common?

     Starship

     Fleetwood Mac

     The Human League


Rock and Roll Trivia Answer 5

A. They have both male and female lead vocals.

Saturday, October 08, 2016

Rock and Roll Trivia Question 4

Q. What do the following songs share in common?

     "1,2,3" by Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine

     "25 Or 6 To 4" by Chicago

     "#9 Dream" by John Lennon


Rock and Roll Trivia Answer 4

A. All of the songs peaked at the number in or within their title.

     "1,2,3" peaked @ #3.

     "25 or 6 To 4" peaked @ #4.

     "#9 Dream" peaked @ #9.


Silence! The Musical @ ARTS AFTER HOURS



The word "silence" is an ironic word to use since the Opening Night crowd was literally roaring with boisterous laughter at this hilariously unapologetic parody of the movie "Silence of the Lambs."

So wrong it's right, Hunter Bell's Book is a clever if not raunchy send-up of all the nuances that made the movie famous. Jon Kaplan and Al Kaplan have created Music and Lyrics equally as as creative and naughty.

Director James Tallach knows how to bring all of this delirium to brilliant life, never overdoing anything, and always keeping the pace brisk and the action moving.

The audience is sold as soon Clarice opens her mouth and the accent ala Jodie Foster from the film shines through. She is played brilliantly by Lisa McDonough who not only looks like Foster but has her mannerisms and facial expressions down perfectly. She is enjoying the role and the audience is right there with her. It is not an easy role, but she makes it look effortless.

Chas Kircher incorporates Sir Anthony Hopkins's icy cold stare and speaking voice perfectly. He has a beautiful voice too, and I only wish I could mention the title of the song that best demonstrates that. ;-)

Buffalo Bill is played with the right amount of sleaze and sex by Jeremiah O'Sullivan. It is a role into which one must be uninhibited, and he is.

Samantha Gambaccini's beautiful Soprano complements her outstanding acting chops (sorry) as Catherine and the Senator.

The ensemble of lambs is also a joy to watch with original and crisp choreography by Nicole Spirito.

Costume designer Bonnie Fitzgerald has done an amazing job of capturing that of the movie.

The impressive and professional lighting, sound, set design, music direction, and projections flesh out (sorry again) an incredibly entertaining and laugh-filled night at the theatre.

Be warned that the language might not make it a family night, but it will make it a wonderful night out with your friends because this particular silence is golden.

artsafterhours.com




Friday, October 07, 2016

Rock and Roll Trivia Question 3

Q. What do the following groups share in common?


     Talk Talk

     Fleetwood Mac

     Big Country


Rock and Roll Trivia Answer 3

A. They all have their group name as a song title or incorporated in a song title they perform.

     "Talk Talk" by Talk Talk

     "Fleetwood Mac (Instrumental)" by Fleetwood Mac

     "In A Big Country" by Big Country


Thursday, October 06, 2016

Rock and Roll Trivia Question 2

Q. What do Lipps Inc. and Pseudo Echo share in common?

Rock and Roll Trivia Answer 2

A. Lipps Inc. and Pseudo Echo are one-hit wonders in the US with the same song "Funkytown,"
     written by Steven Greenberg.

     Lipps Inc. brought the song to #1 in 1980, and Pseduo Echo peaked at #6 in 1986.


Wednesday, October 05, 2016

Rock & Roll Trivia Question 1

What does "b/w" represent?

Rock & Roll Trivia Answer 1

    "Backed With."

     Back in the day when "singles" a.k.a "45s" were a popular method of promoting albums,
     Side One a.k.a the A-side was "backed with" another song, usually from the same album.

Sunday, October 02, 2016

BLONDIE TURNS 40!



Blondie has never been subtle or shy, and their 1976 self-titled debut is just the beginning.

Produced by Richard Gottenhrer for Private Stock Records, he took their punk background and complemented it with a hint of 1950s sensibility. It’s an odd combination on paper but comes to brilliant life on record.

Armed and ready right out of the gate, their first track and first single is “X Offender,” retitled from “Sex Offender” and not a favorite of commercial radio at the time due to its title and subject material. Penned by Gary Valentine and Debbie Harry, this is classic Blondie, and Harry is not afraid to sing controversial lyrics with self-confidence and a sneer.

Harry’s perception of women is showcased in “Little Girl Lies” with the title's play on words and triple meaning (at least). “Rip Her to Shreds,” the LP’s third single, is a more direct approach, and her cold voice is delicious.

Jimmy Destri showcases his love of keyboards and ethereal lyrics in “Look Good in Blue” and “A Shark in Jets Clothing.” The latter is clearly inspired by West Side Story, complete with finger snaps.

Chris Stein contributes “In the Sun” which is ready for any day at the beach. Stein’s “The Attack of the Giant Ants” lets us know that Blondie does not really take themselves or the business too seriously.

Harry and Stein share songwriting talents on the sole ballad and second single “In The Flesh.” It is a beautiful tune, but she sings with irony and distance, letting us know she is not a girl to be messed with.

The unique and undeniable percussion talents of Clem Burke is evident on every song here, and he will continue to get even better. 


Blondie will go through some personal and musical changes, but for now their impressive first album is a great start and a greater sign of things to come.